Updates...

It is since a long time from my last post... recently quite bz with my orientation stuffs. It had been so busy that i was in sch for these 2 weeks and stay in sch till ard 7 or 8 plus before i headed home. after i reached home, there are more things to settle and everything seems like a routine to me... today finally i got a chance to rest and sit down and see ppl doing their stuffs. Meetings and meetings had made me so sianz and the stuffs that i am doing was like no life. Although i am together with my comm members closely.. but sometimes i think that there are limited things for me to do. We need to be focus but it seems so distracting to me... Looking the Float that we built.. and dance step tt najib design... the matric pack stuffs in the storeroom, the schedule tt we need to make... everything is in order.. but something is not there... seeing the freshmen din attend the dance practice tt they promise... and all the helpers tt we need is not there... I feel a little impaitient and everything seems so complicated. Or Prehaps, all these learning experience had made me change in some ways. One of my friends told me tt he miss the time tt i always crap with him in msn... another told me tt i seems so stressed up when dealing with my stuffs... another one told me tt i put so much effort in my sch work but neglect my qsn stuffs... But... But... i am responsible to make orientation a success and also make my qsn a success.. I put in equal effort to both and prehaps to them, i am juz a weak and indecisive person.... Lost confidence...where is my spirit gone to... where had it been to? i dunno.. and i wanna to juz sit aside and enjoy this moment now... a moment where i relax and like wat i am doing now, sitting here typing my blog... and my msn is now in appear offline mode... no one can find me... and enjoy this moment of loneliness... i dunno wat to do... one of my friends think tt i am weird recently and ask me wat wrong.. i cant ans this qns... coz i dunno the ans to it.. so i juz purely smile and say nth wrong... I enjoy the time being with freshmen to the fact tt they are like my sisters and brothers.... i enj0y the time with my comm members and we can play and do things together... but there are times i love to be myself... alone sitting somewhere... enjoying the breeze and alone listening to music... i cant explain this feeling.. but it is good... how ppl say is no longer my concern... haizz...i think i juz being cruel to myself... cruel tt i refuse to show my other side to ppl... I juz wanna to show them my cheerful side and wan them to be happy and cheerful... but deep inside me.. there is another me who is like this... quiet and passive... hope to kill this me and back to my cheerful type.. but...it is difficult...